What I saw before me will haunt our grandchildren for years. Imagine a black and white 60's horror film. The one where the music is loud, pulsing, dramatic, and just before you hear the Dum Dum Duuuuuummmmm, the starring lady puts both hands on her face and Screams in Terror!!.... Yep, that would about sum up how it all went down.
Needless to say I quickly turned into crazy, yellow glove cleaning "everything must be bleached and cleaned with Qtips or its not really clean" mom mode.
So it begins.
Lucky daddy was at work where it was safe, far away from crazy cleaning mom. Hunter, well he was home with me. Good thing he can charm a rattlesnake with his smile. I would find his hidden treasures everywhere i turned, the good, the bad, and the smelly.
Cleaning the house was like maneuvering an obstacle course. The mad lib of words that came out of my mouth would go a little something like this, "HUNTER, WHAT IS THIS?.... WHEN DID YOU DO THIS?....REALLY, ...SERIOUSLY, DID YOU REALLY??" see for yourself..
I enter into evidence item #1. Here is an example of how hunter is getting creative with his silverware. He has literally reinvented the wheel...on our console.
Apparently these are now not only used as accessories with plates but also as a north arrow....pointing the way to cartoons....
I enter into evidence item #2. The pink pig in a teapot...
No clever pun here...a pink pig in a teapot speaks for itself...
and it could go on like this forever but i'm still building my case. He's a sneaky one so it takes time. I figure i have a good 18 years to compile evidence...then the judge...aka daddy....can sentence him to a lifetime of holidays at home......FOREVER...(key 60's horror film music) ...Dum Dum Duuuuuuuuuuummmmm
Now of course the still sane side of me realizes that he is only 2-1/2 and there is NO way he could possibly know the rhyme or reason to all of his actions yet, let alone remember them (he'll get my manual of instructions at 3) but sometimes crazy mom needs to just get it out but holy moly he was ready for me. This boy came packin and was ready for every shot i had.. and then some!...(makes a momma proud...)
Before i could even get out "Hunter," he would come barreling through the house, arms outstretched as far as they could go and he would happily yell with the biggest, toothiest smile he could muster, "Moooommma hug!" and he would lock both arms around my neck, tiny legs around my waist, and then he would start saying "Muah! Muah! Muah!!!" (the sound for kisses)...and smoosh his face into my cheek. You can still see the impression of his face in my cheek! (photos forthcoming..................................just kidding)
It would appear I'm dealing with a professional. He may have his own book out right now.."how to get one passed mummy..." If you see it let me know...i need all the help i can get.
So we continue throughout the day,... mommy's mad lib here and hunter's "muah! muah! momma muah! muah! there...boy does he think he can work it or what?!
Well ,apparently he can because somehow he managed to get me to make some cupcakes during the madness (which hunter sees cupcakes and says PARTY!!... no hunter not party! ..ok well maybe a cleaning one!..)
So after we licked, i mean scooped, the bowl clean, I finally decide its safe to take off the yellow hazmat suits and enjoy a cupcake with our son. As the chocolate digests and begins to calm my frazzled nerves, i look at hunter, kiss him on the cupcake smelling cheek and say "sorry for being grumpy.". He looks at me confused and i say, "sorry i roared at you"..he smiles, laughs, and says "dinosaur roar!!" with both hands springing at me.
...yep...thats me alright...the dino that roared!!
as i put him to bed that evening, I started making my way back through the house to collect the trail of toys that had started to accumulate again and I came across something he had done that just made me think and laugh.... i think he was trying to tell me something...i have got to get a copy of his book~
now i will forever see this picture and think to myself what the cleaning house days will now be labeled in our home...
They will be the days of Trex...and donald duck.
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