Just call me Rambo...

This blog comes with a warning label.

WARNING...IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH.... GROW A PAIR....

(not really, just making sure your paying attention....I'm sure you know the definition of a warning label...this is where you apply it.......this is gross and has even worse pictures.)

We start in the beginning. It is a battle between good and evil...no white flag of mercy....just down and dirty war. A battle to the death.

Background information should you choose to proceed:
Geographical Location: our house
Room Coordinates...the kitchen
The plan: complete annialation of evil. Evil also goes by the name of "Pantry Moth"....aka my arch nemesis.

It begins.

I am beginning to pull my ingredients together for a new recipe one morning. I pull a bag of flour out of my cabinet to refill my glass canister that is looking pretty empty and  I open the paper top and notice two very odd yellow catepillar things dead on the side. 

Of course my instant reaction is to freak out and dive rambo style into the next room screaming the whole way. (everyone would?!)

I gain composure, along with securing my weapon (a towel to throw and run) by my side and go back to the dropped bag of flour. I look through it thinking that it is weebles (a flour bug) but I find nothing. Well the bag goes in the trash regardless.

I go grocery shopping with hunter the next morning. We get home, feed hunter and get him down for his nap. I come back to my groceries and start putting them away. I grab my baking items from the bags for the baking cabinet and open the cabinet door. On the first shelf is another one of these ugly little beasts!

I throw down my groceries in hand and say "that does it," and begin to pull out items from my cabinet.

This is where it gets ugly.

I start finding these fat, ugly, yellow, catepillar things everywhere. They are cocooned in the lining of the cabinet, they are in the wood grain of the shelf, they are in the lid tops of seasonings, and they are in the crevice of a plastic lid that I had in there that didn't even have any food in it!!!

Then I see it. A bag of walnuts....moving.

I puff my cheeks out like a blowfish and hold my breath....not that anything even smells but for some reason that is the form of defense I chose at this moment.

I lean in closer and see 100's of these catepillars consumed in this bag. I FRIGGIN FREAK.

I rip everything out and grab the bleach. I toss items that have been contaminated by the little b's.......

I spray bleach everywhere and scrub.

I put the few remaining items back in this cabinet after this cleansing but something just isn't sitting right with me. I close the cabinet and call my mom. Forgive the mad lib....i was panicked...

"Mom, OMG friggin catepillars or worms?!! hell i don't know but what do i do??!! Is there some old wives tale somewhere like vinegar or something to put out and make sure these are gone?? No, no not weebles? no smell, nothing is bad at all in this cabinet they just appeared??!!! Bay leaves? , yes I have those?? sure i can try it? There's ANOTHER friggin one!!! SOB WTF!!! .....Google, ya ya I was thinking about that......ok, let me google and think and I will call you back." click...or with advanced technology...beep.

I grab the ipad and google. I start by searching "bag of nuts with worms? nut worms? yellow worms in cabinet...................bingo baby.

I find a blog with a picture and the description "yellow catepillar like worms in my pantry".. (here are the blogs pictures...not mine)

That's it!!! yes yes that's what I have!!! I read on to see..."may the lord almighty help you, they are nearly impossible to get rid of"...........ooooooh crap.......(but not crap..plug surrounding kid ears and insert appropiate drunken sailor verbage.)

May I introduce you to the enemy....the Pantry Moth or commonly known as the indian moth meal. (punks..)

 These little beasts live in cardboard and are brought home from grocery stores on contaminated boxes. They spread so quickly that if one box is contaminated in a warehouse or stockroom, they most likely all will be.

They cocoon themselves after feasting until they can eat no more and emerge as moths flying out of your pantry. They eat through plastic, cardboard and can even get through the lid to a peanut butter jar. (Freezers and Refridgerators are safe...too cold..)

Apparently this is what happens when they get out of control...let me emphasize this is NOT MY PICTURE...its someone else's nightmare..

This is them cocooned on someone's decorative basket on the top of her cabinet. Luckily, i am a minimalist...with the exception of hunters stuff...and have NONE of this kinda thing....this probably saved me from it being alot worse..

Sure you can kill the moths, you can even happily and with some dignified pleasure smush the catepillar but what makes them extremely evil is one moth can lay 60 to 300 eggs at one time....and they can choose when they hatch. They can hatch anywhere from 2 days to 30...when they think the coast is clear.

An exterminator is only a temporary solution because of that fact and they can even nest between the cabinet and the wall. They stay where food is and are most dominant when its hot outside. (dang,..its been hotter than hades here too..)

Some might fear an exterminator in their kitchen...especially because of all the chemicals....but after you see what i am about to do to my kitchen you'll see why I'm not worried.....i need all the help i can get! Go big or go home....also a theory I am now holding onto for my backside....just kidding.

One woman thought she had gotten rid of them and 3 mths later they were back all over again...cocooned on her ceiling...(her picture below...I took no pictures...just action)

I thought "Man at least I don't have them that bad....I go to the kitchen and look up....think again honey...I see 2 cocooned on my ceiling....I say out loud in my southern purposeful texas twang...."ah heeellllll no," ...they think its impossible to get rid of these things.........bring it baby.

Before I go on and you think I have lost my ever lovin' mind (because i probably did and will be able to plead temporary insanity later) let me kindly ask you ......(to justify my actions)......

do I do anything halfway?.....especially if  i'm told I can't do something......good.......your ready for this next part.

I throw on my painting clothes, tie my hair up rambo style with a handkerchief and dig in. Terminex was called and scheduled first.....then came war.

I look the part of the movie where the guy is standing in the middle of gunfire, blazed with heat and black tar..he is holding his weapon high and screaming at the top of his lungs firing his gun, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH".......that would be me at this moment. .....kicken it rambo style in my kitchen (or tom cruise style...pre-crazy cruise with the boxers and socks, sliding across the floor with a tie around his head) with the bleach bottle as my weapon......ready to attack......AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I tore open that cabinet, grabbed the trash and tossed it all out....you name it........it went....even the organizers..and I wasn't  finished there...I opened up my pantry.....15' away from the "contaminated hot zone"...and tossed it all....even the liners....then I began the real work...I yanked everything out of EVERY cabinet....including drawers to attack the wood grain.

Silverware, Vases, dishes, containers, pots and pans, even the oven mits and kitchen junk drawer got pulled.

Everything was potential ground that had been crossed by them and needed to be fumigated, bleached, and the threat eliminated.

You think I'm exaggerating.....

think again.

I even found what dust i could on top of the cabinets when I was vaccuming up there and proudly displayed the official war lines under my eyes on my cheek.

After the kitchen became rambo's territory with dishes and misc. items everywhere, I grabbed a scrubby pad and my bleach bottle.

I sprayed and scrubbed every inch of wood grain I could find. I then climbed up and sprayed bleach on the wall and let it run down behind the cabinets....little buggers.

After I finished this, I started scrubbing on the dishes. Each and every piece of everything got dipped and scrubbed in a bleach bath....

Even my hands started to bleed...(very little but still!).........Gloves you ask?.....in a panicked out of breath voice I will answer.."THERE WAS NO TIME."

The next morning every muscle in my bleach smelling body hurt.

I walked into the kitchen and it looked like a bomb had gone off....survivors??.....we'll see.

I did find some information that evening about what one woman did to eliminate them for good...it ONLY took her a year to do it....not kidding.

It's called diatomacious earth...(DE)...not the pool kind but the edible kind. It is commonly used in gardening or landscaping as a "greener" approach to eliminating bugs over chemicals. It is an odorless white fine sand/dirt that is edible by us but when touched or eaten by insects of any kind acts like sharp edges of glass shredding them or their insides....this brings great satisfaction to me as I smile vendictively and it will you too should you ever have the unfortunate future of dealing with them.....I ordered a ten pound bag of this glorious stuff.

I made this DE exceptionally tempting by adding corn meal (i read this is a favorite of their's) with it and in an open container like a buffet....Coooooome here wormy wormy wormy.......Soups on!

After this, cardboard is no longer allowed in the food areas of our home...ever.

Our pantry is going to look like a glass, air tight, apothecary jar. Its the only thing they cannot get into.

Groceries in boxes will be dumped into glass air tight jars and the potential contaminated boxes in the trash outside....never again in this house..(guess who is now designing labels for these jars.....)

And no I'm not exaggerating... if you think I am I will gladly post the pics of cheerios and cheeze-its in my fridge temporarily until I get their jars this weekend to make you think otherwise.....I am not going through this again...

So that's pretty much it...our lil circus with its own freak show...just what I needed to make me even more OCD....

eh ya know what? forget the OCD,.......just call me Rambo

Its time to get out more,

When your kid starts climbin the wall...........................in your heels.

What can we say, its hotter than hades here! There is no rain, there is no shade, and there is no wind...........its hoootttter than haaades.

(no fear for those of you shrieking right now about a boy in high heels, he has no preference.)

from my tennis shoes,

to daddy's boots.

....to reiterate daddy's words, "he's secure in his manhood."

We have tried to think of everything we can do indoors for him to get more activity. We have pop up tents, toys,  playdough, paint, coloring books, bath tub paints, markers, and crayons. You would think this would do it....... Nope.

We have also been pulling his train set out and playing alot. I love the way he sets it all up. Its his imaginary village, himself the rescuer and destroyer..

Then there is the slide that is small enough to bring in indoors but not for the use we were intending...

He is watching cartoons on his slide. (do mind the pillows/blankets in the background.....we were building forts.)

And then he has been very involved in the grocery shopping lately.

He is so serious!! Love him!!

Daddy and him have even spent some time rescuing gecco's.

(look inside the glass, he's tiny!)

As much as hunter was ready to make this lizard a part of the family, (and boy was he ever) we set him free....into the blazing heat. (just kidding, it was night....nice and cool)

I had to pull out the "its the lizard or me!" line....Before they had time to recover from their hesitation I answered, "Btw the lizard goes.." 

We are running out of options here for indoor activity. Come on Fall! Kick it in gear and save the day!!

Luckily, at hunter's school, they were studying Pakistan recently (they study a different country each week) and so he had the opportunity to get a hennah tattoo. (not the 6 month kind...more like the 3 day kind and yes we signed his permission slip) This kept him amuzed for days!!

For show n tell they had to bring their favorite stuffed animal. Of course we did not bring the true blue favorite. (Come on, we're not stupid. Anything happens to the original and its mommy and daddy who lose sleep...not school) so we brought the next best...his lion...thats what they drew for the kids' hennah tattoo's, their favorite stuffed animal they brought...how sweet!!

He guarded this piece of art with his life!!

Phew, from all of us here in hades pleeease let it be cool soon so we can get out more! We and our electric bill would surely appreciate it.

Hope your staying cool!

2 cents from hunter

Hunter is now in Pre-Primary II at his school.

Here he is going to master his biggest accomplishment, and I need to add mommy and daddy can't wait, potty training!

Along with potty training they are learning to dress themselves, etc etc. We are working on shoes and shorts currently. (shirts is an entirely different week...)

He has been assisting us getting him dressed forever now. He guides his legs in his shorts and he's been taking off his shoes but now mommy and daddy are not supposed to assist at all.... He is a big boy now and has to do it all his own....take on the independence so to say.

Well, I picked him up from school on Friday and they were at recess. I watched him for awhile (my favorite thing to do when I pick him up) and noticed something was off. It didn't hit me what though right away.

His teacher saw me and came over to talk about the class progress and what they are currently working on. She noted that when they were working on pants that day, hunter had taken so much pride in putting on his own pants on by himself that she hadn't corrected him when she noticed something.

I turned and looked at what she was describing...let's just say mommy couldn't get to her camera fast enough to take this picture when we got home...

He followed instructions completely and put on his shorts....

Note the direction of his feet vs the front of his shorts....

this is now lovingly framed and my absolute favorite pic.

Happy Monday, here's hoping you were able to put your pants on correctly.

~Sending our love from texas

Bye Bye Beamer......Heeeelllllooooooo Geoffrey!

Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I........wait......WHATEVER!! no loss of tears or heart here!!!

Its a done deal! The sportscar is gone!!! I now have a family friendly "hot momma" car!!

It all started my first year out of undergrad. We went car shopping for the hubby (the same weekend I also happened to get my 2nd raise...never do that ya'll) and somehow we BOTH ended up with cars.

His an SUV and mine....in short description a Charcoal gray, Black leather interior, Convertible top BMW Roadster Z4. (haha like my short description.)

A year later, we found out we were expecting our little hunter ryan. Also, the time of the recession. Whaaaaat a coincidence.

Of course we aren't about to get rid of the bmw to put us upside down in another car so we made it work sharing (1) family friendly car and the other person driving the beamer. IT SUCKED.

We have looked like jesters with a juggling act of cars.

 Whose schedule is what? What time does who have to be where? Can we meet halfway and switch cars?....i'm telling ya, a juggling act.

After awhile we got used to this and having no car payments is the best thing ever so we just kept juggling. It had become our norm.

Then came friday.

looooong story short: hubby driving home, big piece of someone's car in road, hubby could not go left or right because of cars beside him, hubby had to hit big piece of someone's car in road, big piece of someone's car in road RIPPED OFF THE BACKEND OF MY BMW..........

with this we'll just end with....amen.

Hubby was A-ok. Luckily, it was the beamer that took the brunt of the force.

My sis and I went and picked him up, I kissed/hugged him and said, "well, I guess that means we are car shopping this weekend."

Now I wish I could tell you that we scoured the car dealerships, looked high and low for one that spoke to us but hopefully by now you know me well enough to know that all of that wasn't necessary. I had found, researched, and mentally bought our next car a year ago.(Have I mentioned I am just a hair type A personality?)

Allow me to introduce you to Geoffrey.

Geoffrey is a 2012 Volkswagen Jetta SportsWagen 2.0 TDI, diesel.....phew! He gets 42 mpg open highway and can switch from an automatic to a manual to get 50 mpg. He has a panoramic sunroof, white gray leather interior, and a lovely little contraption known as a back seat and rear storage. Our son can actually ride in it!!!!  check it out!

Panoramic Sunroof-this is my favorite!!! (Yes it has a sunscreen that covers it for shade when needed.)

This car is AMAZING. It can speak to my iphone, my iphone can speak to it, I can control what i want with my voice or steering wheel commands, lumbar support in the seats which are heated and cooled, and so many other functions I will never truly know his full potential but I have awhile to work it out. This volkswagen engine is made to last 1/2 a million miles......

I named him (my car) Geoffrey because he just seemed masculine. I changed the car voice to have a British accent because it seemed to fit its personality better. (are you really surprised that I give cars personalities?....Really??)

The name Geoffrey reminds me of a British butler,..."My dearest Geoffrey can you bring the car around??"...So now my car is lovingly named, Geoffrey.

I was so excited I even had pretend phone calls with the hubby while we were driving home.. I would say "Ring Ring, hi dear, I need to work late this evening. Would you mind picking up hunter?" to which i would loudly and obnoxiously yell "I SURE CAN!!!!!!!!!" (good thing my significant other new I was this crazy when he married me and for some craaaaazy reason, loves me anyway!)

The hubby smiles at me and now says "your such a mom, you have a wagon.." I laugh and say "A hot momma wagon!!"

well, we may have ended with an amen to the BMW but now i walk out the door everyday and say heeeeellllllooo Geoffrey....(i go to the garage numerous times during the day on the weekends just to check on him...)

Happy driving to all!!

Invoke the "Whoooopsie Daisy!"

Ever had a whoopsie daisy moment(s)? ...your LYING if you say no...they are inevitable and bound to happen.

Hunter, whenevr he drops something unintended or spils, he very seriously says "whoooooopsie daisy" (wit a little uuuuuuupsie in whoopsie)

I am going to piggey back off his correct analysis of the situation at hand and invoke the blog  "Whoooopsie Daisy!" clause.

Whenever you read a mispelled or incorrectly used term, it is a "Whoooooopsie Daisy!" and got thru my hours and hires of proof reading/editing..(if you think I actually do this, you should read "the mechanic with no car" blog and realize there is no time for all of that....no, I do not.)

I kindly ask that when you stumble upon this and think "???" just silently in your head (or loudly i don't care) say "Whoooopsie Daisy!!" invoke it...embrace it....DO IT.

(haha, now go back and reread using the "Whooooopsie Daisy" clause...the missssspellings were intentional...)